Rediscovering Belonging and Identity Through Singing

This essay is written by Juju Kim.

She took part in The Spirit of Sound Online Training in fall 2022. This text is her final essay of the training.

My family is from South Korea and we immigrated to New Zealand in 1995. As an adult, I have struggled with my identity. Not belonging here nor there. Looking very different to the people I grew up around. Living in a western culture outside and a Korean culture at home. My parents do not speak fluent English and I do not speak fluent Korean. Communication blocks have been a theme throughout my adult life.

During my early twenties I found Yoga and became interested in spirituality. I read a book by Louise L. Hay “You can heal your life” where I learned limiting beliefs and ideas can be the cause of illness. During this time, my mum was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. It became known to me that this is a common disease that is run in the women of my mum's side of the family. “Thyroid; The Thyroid represents the communication between the Head and the Heart. Thyroid problems most often represent a lack of or miscommunication between what one thinks and one’s Truth. Problems may also represent a lack of ability to speak up for one’s self.” Looking deeper into it, I saw the lack of communication in my family. There were and still are many things that I don’t understand or know of in my family because we are too afraid to speak the truth. I reflected on the cultural aspects of being a Korean woman, where we are taught to listen, do as we’re told and not to question.

As my awareness grew, I noticed how this was showing up in my own relationships and in living my purpose. I have been on a journey to heal my communication blocks Soneiro’s The Spirit of Sound Online Training has taken me on a path to explore old traumas through sound.

“Through singing I could feel how the numbed-off, suppressed parts of myself had the opportunity to express and give voice to a whole range of feelings.”

In week three of the training we connected with our own voice. This sparked the most curiosity for me as it felt like a gate that allowed my inner self to get out into the world. Through the voice exercises, I felt so free around the throat. During my own personal practice, I felt drawn to singing old Korean pop songs. Songs I had heard my dad sing as a child, ones that I remember hearing when we used to travel back to Korea and go to Karaoke. What was so interesting is that everytime I tried to sing, I felt a lot of emotions arise and it took me about a week of practice before I could sing the song without tears.

In Diane Austin’s book “The Theory and Practice of Vocal Psychotherapy: Songs of the Self” she writes about the physical, psychological and spiritual benefits of singing and how singing can offer a way to access and express emotions from memories and incidents. I learnt how the voice is a primary instrument in music therapy. The instrument we are born with and our body’s own voice. It is such a powerful therapeutic experience because we are intimately connected to the source of the sound and vibrations. We make the music, we are immersed in the music and we are the music. Our heart rate slows down and it calms our nervous system.

When we sing we produce vibrations that nurture the body and massage our insides. Internally resonating vibrations breakup and release blockages of energy, releasing feelings and allowing a natural flow of vitality. Through singing I could feel how the numbed-off, suppressed parts of myself had the opportunity to express and give voice to a whole range of feelings.

Listening to my intuition and wanting to sing the old Korean pop songs that I had once heard as a child was also a process of releasing old and repressed emotion due to the memories and lyrics with the song.

Singing is truly a powerful tool for healing. I am finding my own voice, my own sound and myself. To share my stories, my gifts, communicating my truth and speaking up for what I want and what I need. With this, I hope to break the chain of beliefs that has been carried within the women in my family and in my culture.

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About the Author

Juju Kim

Juju is a yoga teacher, content creator, life artist, Kimchi pancakes expert and goofy oddball (by choice) based between Berlin and Barcelona.

Follow her journey on Instagram @juju__kim